—by Ashleigh Meeker, CCC member
I had a terrible boss for over two years. She was mean. She was passive aggressive. She pawned off all of her job responsibilities on me. I tried giving her feedback and talking to superiors but it just made matters worse. I decided to “wait it out”—putting my trust in the saying “You reap what you sow.” So I sat back and waited, thinking I was trusting God, but really I was just rooting for her to fail. I wanted her to be exposed and humiliated for all her wrongdoings. Instead of immediately confessing my true feelings to God, I ignored them and let them fester. Guess what happened. She got a big promotion with a huge raise! WAIT A MINUTE!! I’m the reason she succeeded!
The unresolved feelings of resentment that I had let fester came rushing to the surface. My “waiting this out” strategy wasn’t working anymore, and it seemed like God’s sense of justice was misguided. My resentment told me to deal with this situation in a way that made me feel great. I gossiped. I complained. I kept a literal list of grievances in case I needed them as ammo. I would go over her head on things, and I was passive aggressive. My growing resentment justified all of these actions. Fast-forward to a year later. Our company laid off 100 people, and she was on the list. After years of suffering she was finally gone! God was finally answering the desires of my heart.
Then something else happened. I was asked to apply for some higher level positions because my accomplishments in the past few years had been noticed. That is when God’s Holy Spirit confronted me with my sin. Having a terrible boss gave me the skill set I needed for these higher level positions. Without her, I would have never learned how to do all the things that qualified me for this next level job. God allowed me to go through the “terrible boss” trial to prepare me for better things. I immediately was reminded of my terrible attitude, the gossip, the complaining, and my desire for vengeance. If I had truly trusted God and confessed my anger and resentment regularly I would have had an enjoyable time at work, and impacted the work culture in a positive way. Thankfully, God doesn’t depend on me to conquer my sin. The penalty for my sin has been paid. By grace, I have been forgiven, and by grace he allows me to learn from my mistakes. God’s timing is always perfect, he always knows what is best for us, and he always forgives our dark hearts. If you are going through a Joseph moment— I encourage you to look past the current circumstances and have hope in God’s provision. God’s grace is new every morning!